Let’s talk about self-love. How many times you look in the mirror and the only thing you see is that fat in your body that has been following you since you were a child? How many times you look in the mirror, and you only see your big nose? Your small boobs? Your so-straight hair that it doesn’t matter what you do, it stays flat and straight.
Yes, I am talking about me. Your story could be different: you could complain that your hair is very curly and you fight with it every morning, or that your boobs are big and it is hard to find clothes that fit well, or that you are not happy with your body AT ALL. Everyone has a different story and different concerns about their own bodies. What is a terrible thing for me, could be nothing for you.
My advice: just STOP. Stop complaining about yourself. Stop comparing yourself to the woman you saw another day in a magazine. Everybody is different. There is no such thing as a perfect body, an ideal shape or face or colour. JUST STOP. We need more self-love.
Being negative about your own body just makes you feel worse and worse. My mother used to say that we have power in our words. She was right. According to Andrew Newberg, M.D. and Mark Robert Waldman, words can change your brain. In their Book “Words Can Change Your Brain” they write “a single word has the power to influence the expression of genes that regulate physical and emotional stress.” So don’t put yourself down by believing you are not perfect!
You can change your reality
Using the right words in your everyday life can transform your reality. “By holding a positive and optimistic word in your mind, you stimulate frontal lobe activity. This area includes specific language centres that connect directly to the motor cortex responsible for moving you into action. And as our research has shown, the longer you concentrate on positive words, the more you begin to affect other areas of the brain. Functions in the parietal lobe start to change, which changes your perception of yourself and the people you interact with. A positive view of yourself will bias you toward seeing the good in others, whereas a negative self-image will include you toward suspicion and doubt. Over time the structure of your thalamus will also change in response to your conscious words, thoughts, and feelings, and we believe that the thalamic changes affect the way in which you perceive reality” – Andrew Newberg, M.D. and Mark Robert Waldman.
Our brain is very efficient. When we repeat a behaviour, such as negative thoughts, the neurones will work to ease the flow of information, which makes it easier to repeat the same behaviour next time.
Ok, so what is my point?
I want to encourage you to change your way of thinking. I know it is not easy when we look in the mirror and see the same person. Believe me; it is just your brain being efficient and enforcing your own believes. To get started with your process of mental detox, every time you look in the mirror, try to compliment yourself. Think about what you like most in your body.
If there is anything that you just don’t like no matter what, try asking yourself first “why am I unhappy with it?”. If it is because you are comparing yourself to others, STOP! Then reflect for a moment: “is there anything that I could change to make myself better?”. If yes, make an effort to change it. If no, ask again why and try to understand why you are not happy. In most cases, you’ll see that you are just comparing yourself to another woman who you believe has the “ideal” body. That is not healthy; you are just beautiful the way that you are.
Remember: self-love is the key!
I used to hate my nose because I was comparing it to what I believed was a “perfect nose.” And I thought: Is there anything that I can do to change it? Maybe, if I do plastic surgery. Do I really want to change my face? No, thanks. So I stopped comparing myself to others. Do I love my nose? Well, it is the only nose I have, and it works perfectly… so, yes, I do. Do you want another example? My butt. Yes! I used to have a nice butt when I was 20. I am 31 now (close to 32), and no, it is not the same. Gravity is working against us all, you know. I was very unhappy with it. Again the question: Is there anything that I can do to change it? Yes, go to the gym and work it out. So I did. It’s been a year that I have a hate/love relationship with the gym (I hate going to the gym, it is annoying, and I am lazy, but I love the results).
Why did I title this post as “Self-love and the best day of your life”? Because the best day of my life was when I changed my way of thinking. It was the day when self-love became part of my everyday life.
By the way, I’m the woman in this post’s photos and Amena Assailywas the fabulous photographer behind it!
Positive vibes, always! 🙂 #FeelYourselfProject